


i guess that’s one way to say hello

by poweradequeen



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Alternate Universe - Detectives, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, I Die By My Own Sword, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Not Beta Read, depends on how long i decide to make this, i probably won’t update often, or like at all, slow burn kind of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2020-01-30
Packaged: 2020-08-11 05:54:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20148724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poweradequeen/pseuds/poweradequeen
Summary: i’m salty that there isn’t enough heartrate content so i’m writing this ficalix and kim are detectives and have to fake being a couple to take down a serial killer, but will their fake romance blossom into something real?some heavy angst later on in the story line (i will add a trigger warning if necessary at the start of the chapter!!)





	1. Achilles’ Heel

**Author's Note:**

> as i write this note it is 4:39am and i am dead inside

“Alix! Kim! You guys have a case!” Marinette told the pair as they walked into the precinct. She was sitting at her usual spot as the secretary for their boss. “Bustier wants you in her office like, right now!” 

Wordlessly, they rerouted to Bustier’s office instead of their desks. Alix knocked lightly against the door, a muffled voice told them to come in. They walked into the room and took up the two chairs she had in front of her desk.

“What’s the case?” Kim asked as he adjusted in his seat. Their boss handed over the folder she was holding, letting them observe the contents. It showed a pamphlet, as well as three photos of six people that had been murdered. The six were in pairs of two, holding hands. 

“Seems like Cupid just had enough and snapped, huh?” Kim joked, his eyes glossed over the pamphlet, focusing on the photos. Even after years of being a detective, it always made him sick, just what serial murderers were willing to do. The blood they were willing to get on their hands.

“Couples from this resort are being kidnapped, three pairs have showed up dead. You two are going undercover as a couple to get to the bottom of this,” their boss crossed her arms on her desk and leaned forward. Alix and Kim shared a look of confusion.

“Why us? Why not Alya and Nino, or Ivan and Mylene. You know since their already couples,” Alix wondered, Kim nodding in agreement with her. It was fairly infrequent for the two detectives to agree on things, but as they were forced to spend more time together, they become more alike. Nobody knew if it was a blessing or a curse.

“This operation is dangerous. You two have the most experience, I’m convinced you two are the best detectives to put on this case,” she shooed them out of her office. Alix grabbed the folder, tucking it safely in her arm, and walking out the door Kim had so kindly held open for her. 

“So, what’s the case?” Marinette inquired, smile bright as it always was. Neither Alix, nor Kim knew how she kept so positive all the time.

“Couples resort, kidnappings, murders, we’re going undercover,” Alix stated bluntly, flipping through the folder of information. Ten couples had gone missing, three had already shown up dead. That meant there could still be 14 missing people still alive. 

“I don’t know why she didn’t pick one of the actual couples, aside from her ‘you two have the most experience and this is a dangerous case’ shtick. I swear she just wants us to get together,” Kim laughed, looking over his partners partner at the reports and evidence she held in her hands. A round of soft chuckles and giggles went around the room from his joke. The precinct always had joked about how much they seemed like a couple, so it didn’t really bother anybody that much anymore.

“Well, much to my dismay, we can’t exactly argue with the boss,” Alix complained, closing the folder. “We should probably get our undercover gear. It says here that we need to be there by noon today; and it’s already nine.”

“Really, that quick? That place is like at least two and a half hours away from here,” Kim grabbed the folder from Alix, looking it over himself.

“Yeah, I know, so we should probably get going,” Alix ushered him over to where they picked up what they’d need for their case. 

“You know what I think is funny?” Alix looked up at Kim, signalling for him to continue as they were gathering their items. “The reason we’re so good is we were always just trying to one up each other back in the early days. Now we’re their superiors.”

“Well, it did help us out in the long run, I suppose,” Alix agreed. “We did end up connecting two cold cases and we solved it all in under 72 hours.”

“We’re really just that good, huh?” Kim laughed as they walked out the doors they came in from just a little while ago. They stepped outside into the early autumn air, the weather almost brisk, still holding some of that summer warmth.

“Which car are we using?” Alix asked as they reached the parking lot. 

“Which one do you wanna use? I couldn’t care less honestly.”

“We can take mine, I filled up my gas tank this morning.”

“Mines kind of a mess too, so I guess using yours would be the safest option,” Kim confessed. Alix pulled the keys out of her jacket pocket, walking over to her car.

“Kim, I’ve seen your car. There is no ‘kind of’. It’s a full on pigsty,” the pink haired girl ducked into the drivers seat of her car.

“Ok first off, rude. Second, true, but still uncalled for.”

“Whatever, let’s just get going. We have a long trip ahead of us,” Alix rolled her eyes in regards to her current passenger.

“Yeah, it is going to be a long trip, and an even longer case, I can’t imagine actually being in a relationship with you. Man, that would be so tiring,” Kim taunted the petite girl sitting next to him as he buckled himself in. “Alright, I’m ready to go! Let’s rock and roll!”

“Please never say those words in my presence again, you sound like a sixty year old,” Alix sighed, backing out of her stall and exiting the parking lot.

“What if I’m at a rock concert? Why can’t I say ‘let’s rock and roll’?” Kim faced her as best he could while still buckled, a bit offended.

“Okay, the only place it would be appropriate would be a rock concert, happy?” Alix compromised. She pulled into a convenient store parking lot and told Kim to get some food for their trip. They’d been working together long enough for him to know what she liked, she trusted him to get good snacks. He, to this day, had never disappointed Ms. Alix Kubdel.

“Thank you!” she said taking the large plastic cup of fountain pop from his hands. 

“No problem, they didn’t have any Laffy Taffy candies though, sorry,” Kim apologized, he had come to find out that Alix’s all time favourite candy was a Laffy Taffy. It didn’t matter what flavour, she just loved them. She was never without them during any of their stakeouts.

“It’s okay, It’s not your fault, they’re the best candy on earth, so of course this place is sold out,” she joked, putting her drink in a cup holder. 

“You and I both know Sour Patch Kids are better,” Kim argued, the word holding no true merit. He closed his door and buckled his seat belt, Alix turned her car back on and drove out of the parking lot.

“Oh yeah! Definitely!” Alix laughed, rolling her eyes at her partner. She turned up the radio as she headed onto the highway. 

“Hey! Give me the aux cord!” Kim grabbed his phone from his pocket. His eyes darting around the car for the cord.

“No, your music taste is horrible!” Alix remarked, slightly turning on the curved road.

“Excuse me! Multiple times you have stated that I have good taste in music. The most recent being just last week,” Kim remarked still looking around the vehicle.

“I was being sarcastic,” Alix said, fooling nobody not even herself.

“Yeah, sure. I won’t play anything super horrible, I promise!” Alix, albeit annoyed, gave Kim the aux cord; and to her surprise it was music she actually enjoyed. 

“This is actually good! I’m surprised.”

“I have a playlist called ‘Alix’s Music’ which includes the music you have on your playlists, but only the ones that I also like,” Kim explained, taking a sip out of his pop. 

“That’s actually considerate, who knew you had it in you?” Alix teased, tapping her fingers to the beat of the song against the steering wheel.

“I can be nice sometimes! Just last week I helped an old lady with her groceries,” Kim smirked, crossing his arms proudly. Alix rolled her eyes at her passenger, her lips deceiving her and curling into a smile.

“That’s nice, Kim! Did you buy any girl scout cookies while you were at it?” she said, her hand reaching down to the Twizzlers Kim had gotten at the convenient store.

“Yes I did, actually. You know that thin mints are my Achilles' heel,” Kim pulled out a bag of Sour Patch Kids, opening it and putting a couple in his mouth.

“I thought your Achilles’ heel was Sour Patch Kids?” Alix finished her Twizzler and pointing to the bag in her friend's hand.

“I have two heels, Alix. Basic anatomy,” Kim shot back. A proud smirk on his lips. Alix soared him a quick glance, an utterly exhausted look in her eyes.

“I don’t think that's how it works, Kim,” an exasperated sigh escaped her lips.

“Sure it does, how do you know it doesn’t? Have you ever met Achilles? No? That’s what I thought,” his words dissolved into laughter. Alix joined him, lightly chuckling at his comment.

“You're right. I haven’t yet had the chance to meet Achilles: the Greek hero, but,” Alix got out in between giggles. “As far as I am aware, neither have you.”

“That may be true,” Kim lost his train of thought. He looked out the window, seeing the terrain of world around him, hoping it would spark something inside of him.

“But?” Alix urged him to continue, giving him a quick glance before returning here eyes to the road ahead of her. 

“No, that’s it. Nothing else.”

“Alright then,” Alix laughed, her head shaking slightly at his antics. “Sometimes, I wonder why I’m friends with you.”

“You’re friends with me because they made us partners. We’ve been partners for the better part of a decade so it would be weird if you weren’t,” Kim explained eating another Sour Patch Kid from the bag.

“Well, duh. I know like trust and stuff, but like why?” Alix asked asked again, shaking her head and shrugging her shoulders to emphasize her words. 

“Why not?” Kim gave simply, his arms crossing over his chest as he shifted to look at her. The look he gave her was almost a challenge. They were both people who never backed down from a challenge. Especially from each other, it was just who they were, it was their dynamic. The conversation died out, replaced by the music from the car speakers. It made Kim’s eyelids feel heavy, he muffled a yawn and closed his eyes.

Alix noticed this and snickered, she waited until he was calm and unsuspecting. Blissfully unaware before she honked her horn.

“What?! Who’s there!” Kim yelled in his dazed state, his words a bit slurred from sleep. Alix started cackling, Kim’s confused state turning to resentment. “That wasn’t nice, Alix!”

“No, but it was funny!” she barely got out between wheezes. She wiped her eyes with her knuckle, to wipe away any of the tears that had managed to slip out before continuing “God! You should have seen your face! Priceless!”

“You are evil, Alix Kubdel!” Kim looked away from her, feigning being hurt. His eyes took in the new scenery as the pink haired girl beside him cooled off from her laughing fit.

“And you are so easy to trick, Le Chien Kim!” Alix replied, a gleeful sigh escaping her lips. The sound of her triumph.

“I’m going to finish my nap and if I get woken up again, I will not hesitate to cry,” Kim closed his eyes again, relaxing in his seat. Alix took pity on his poor soul and let him sleep. The hum of the engine, the soft sounds of music, and the light bumps of the long road made it easy for him to slip back into his slumber. Calm, peace, tranquility surrounding him, his head resting on his arm, which lay flush against the window.


	2. Cop Appeal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it’s short, and a filler which made it really hard to right but i finally did woohoo!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a mess, have fun reading it

Alix gently nudged Kim, waking him from his slumber. He slowly opened his eyes, blinking a few times to adjust to the new atmosphere.

“We’re at the resort, you might want to get up,” Alix unbuckled her seatbelt. Kim took a deep breath shaking off his sleepiness. He followed Alix’s suit, unbuckling and stepping out of her car.

“Sorry I slept the entire ride, I had a long night last night,” Kim said, stretching his arms and legs. He looked around the resort. It looked nice, well at least the parking lot, if he hadn’t any prior knowledge he wouldn’t think a serial killer was taking prey here. However, nothing was ever quite how it seemed.

“Any particular reason you were up so late?” Alix added a wink to her sly tease. “Any girls actually taking an interest in you? Is the _ cop _ appeal finally working?”

“I was having nightmares about a case we had a while back. I’ve been doing pretty good but, uh, progress isn’t linear, right?” Kim tensed as he spoke. He wasn’t really one to share his feelings with people. He had told Alix a couple of times, but he was still a bit closed off.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Alix took on a more somber tone, hearing reasons she could relate to so well. The _ cop _ appeal definitely had side effects. One of them just so happened to be trauma.

“It’s okay. It’s not like you knew, besides joking about it means we’re getting better, right?”

“Right,” the air was thick, heavy. They both knew that it took so much more than laughing about it to get better. One word would break the silence, which they both desperately wanted to end, but neither could get up the nerve to say something. Instead they walked silently towards the resort.

It was sleek, modern. It looked glossy, like a fresh, still wet coat of paint was applied. The walk helped to alleviate some of the pressure, making the silence between them more bearable. The intricate stone path leading up to the glass door giving them both a reason not to look at each other.

As Kim opened the door for Alix, their facade went up. No longer were they detectives, but a married couple looking for a getaway.

“Hello! Welcome to Life in Love! How may I help you?” the guy at the front desk—Daniel, as his name tag read—said energetically.

“We booked a room here, it should be under Matthew Stewart,” Alix put her brightest smile. She looked back at Kim with over-exaggerated exhaustion. He rolled his eyes at her and stifled a laugh.

“Oh, yes! Right this way Mr. and Mrs. Stewart!” he walked through a hallway to room 23. “Here are your key cards, and a map, with times for activities on the back! Have a lovely stay, you two!”

Alix and Kim got settled into the room, there _ was _ only one bed, but they’d been through this before. Alix slept on the couch last time they were forced to share a room, now it was his turn. Just as their deals had always gone, she would need to to buy him a coffee and donut when they got back from the case. Both of them shuddered at the thought of having to say ‘_if _ they came back’.

“I hope the couch is comfortable, Matthew Stewart,” Alix teased, chuckling lightly.

“I hope it’s a pullout, just to see the hope in your eyes die out,” Kim shot back, the couch was not a pullout couch, which made Alix let out a cackle. “Wait, Alix!”

“What?” his tone of alarm made Alix genuinely concerned.

“I think we have a witch in our room.”

“You know, I could reply to that, but I won’t. Out of mercy.”

“Just admit that I’m better than you,” Kim said. “It does wonders for your skin, you know? Accepting defeat.”

“Why accept defeat when I haven’t been defeated?” Alix asked, putting her hands on her hips. Kim rolled his eyes. Alix once said if he kept doing that he’d go blind, to which his reply was incredibly rude, Alix went as far as throwing something at him in punishment.

Kim sat down next to Alix on the bed. “Alright, what’s out first course of action?”

“Uh, mingle?” Alix said, standing up and walking towards the door. Kim followed suit.

Kim flipped over the map, to look at the activities section. 

“Hey there is a game of ‘How We’ll Do You Know Your Partner’ at 12:45. You wanna participate?” Kim said handing the paper to Alix.

“Sure, Why not? It’ll help us get to know these people, scope out some potential serial killers,” Alix folded the paper up, putting it in her back pocket.

“After you, Mrs. Elizabeth Stewart,” he said opening the door to the room that would hold the game.

“Why thank you, Mr. Matthew Stewart,” they signed themselves up for the game, and sat where instructed. “Wait, what do we say for the inevitable ‘when we got together’ question, and the ‘when we got married’ question?”

“Easy, when we became partners on the force, duh,” Kim said, shrugging his shoulders. “Wedding will be the same day but 3 years later because why not. It’ll be fine. You worry too much.”

“I know, I just. I don’t want a repeat of the Jackson case. I still get nightmares from it,” she’d never shared that with anybody other than her therapist, it scared her a bit. Then again, Kim was her partner. The person she was supposed to trust with her life. She could tell him about it. He didn’t reply, he just gave her an understanding nod of sympathy, like he’d been in her place before.

“Alright, in front of you are tablets. There are two sections, one for your answers and one for the answer you think your partner will put down. When I ask the question you’ll write both answers down, if they match you get a point. The couple with the least points at the end of each round gets eliminated, until there is only one couple left,” the host instructed, her voice tinny through the speakers wired around the room. “First question, let’s start off easy: favourite colour.”

Kim and Alix immediately wrote down their answers. Alix put down red for Kim, like that annoying hoodie he _ always _ wore. Kim put down pink, like her hair. They heard a ding, they got a point! More couples got eliminated as the rounds went on, Alix and Kim were still in the game when it was down to five pairs.

“Alright lovely couples, it is now time for phase two. You will now see there is only _ one _ section for answers, that is because now there is only _ one right answer_. This section is about first dates, anniversaries, birthdays and all that jazz. However, there’s a twist. If you get an answer wrong, you will be eliminated immediately,” the host called out. “First question: when did you start dating.”

Alix was glad she asked now, she put down January 26th, 2015. _ Ding! _ They ended up coming in second, because Kim ‘forgot’ they had vegan options at their wedding.

“You scope anyone out?” Alix asked once they got back to their room.

“Not really, table three kinda seemed suspicious though,” Kim replied. “Also first dibs on the shower.”

“Not if I get there first!” Alix ran to the bathroom. Kim hot on her trail. Alix beat him, _ obviously, _ but the effort was there.

“Yeah, I agree. We should keep an eye on table three,” Alix called through the bathroom door. “I don’t think they passed their vibe check.”

“Please, for the love of all things that are holy, never say that again,” Kim pleaded, laughing despite himself.

“If you get to say ‘let’s rock and roll’, I get to say whatever I want,” she replied. Nothing else happened after they went to bed, Alix on the bed, Kim on the couch. The next days would most likely be difficult, but they were together, they could handle it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to Hana, for leaving such a nice comment that made me finish writing this chapter (which is really short, again sorry). anyways, i hope you enjoyed.


End file.
